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In the fifties the journalists referred to it as “wife-swapping.” Today it’s called “swinging,” but regardless of its name this non-monogamous subculture seems to be growing in popularity among mainstream, adult married couples in the US. The popular media are paying increasing interest to the trend, frequently putting a encouraging spin on the effects which the lifestyle has upon relationships. The North American Swing Club Association (NASCA) claims there are structured swing clubs in about all states as well as Belgium, England, Germany, and Japan. These clubs are beneficial enterprises which offer all levels of group activities for swingers including vacation plans, special vacation sites for swingers, and annual conferences and seminars. Lifestyles, Inc., a swingers voyage agency, booked 700 couples at a resort in Jamaica in January of 1998.
What exactly is swinging? Not like “open marriages” of the 1970’s which promoted non-possessive love and tolerance of unfaithfulness in their spouses, or “polyamory” - the love of several people at once – swinging is non-monogamous sexual action, treated a lot like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple. Emotional monogamy, or commitment to the love relationship with one’s marital partner, remains the main goal. Swinging is usually done in the company of one’s spouse and requires the consent of both to the experience. Though swingers often become close friends with other swinging couples, there are policy restricting emotional involvement with non-spousal partners. While swinging involves having sex with people other than one’s spouse, its apologetics claim that it enhances the relationship of the swinging couple both sexually and emotionally. By removing the privacy and untruthfulness inherent in one’s natural wishes for sexual variety, the pair can explore their fantasies together without cheating or guilt. By removing the necessity for deceit from the relationship, a brand new stage of confidence and openness about all of one’s feelings is supposedly achieved without the negative baggage of envy.
Swinging as an alternative lifestyle is of both practical and scholarly interest because the attempt to combine sexual non-monogamy with emotional monogamy is deeply “deviant” from the western model of romantic love which assumes that sexual and emotional monogamy are reciprocally reinforcing and inseparable. It has yet to be demonstrated empirically whether this alternative lifestyle in fact strengthens or weakens marital bonds, but in an era where 36% of husbands and 30% of wives, sometimes so-called hotwives declare to having had at least one extra-marital affair, where divorce rates for first marriages are approaching 60%, and where family insecurity and parental neglect of children has become a major national concern, any effort to redefine “love” and strengthen the marital relationship is worthy of our attention. If swingers have found a way to stabilize relationships, extend family ties, and enrich the lives of couples we would be remiss if we did not take their lifestyle and their redefinition of monogamous love seriously.
It is concluded that swingers surveyed are the white, middle-class, middle-aged, church-going segment of the population reported in previous studies, but when it comes to attitudes about sex and marriage they are less racist, less sexist, and less heterosexist than the common public. Swinging appears to make the vast majority of swingers’ marriages happier, and swingers rate the gladness of their marriages and life satisfaction in general as higher than the non-swinging population.